Stress Management Programme

Session 3: Exercise 1:

When in Conflict, Negotiate

 

Whether you disagree with your boss regarding your salary, or your co-workers about who is going to make the coffee, you need to present your position and negotiate a compromise you can all live with.

 

Here is a 4-step model to follow when you want to discuss a specific problem with your supervisor or colleagues with the aim of arriving at a mutually acceptable outcome. 

 

STATE:

1. The problem (what you perceive to be the cause of your stress)

2. how you feel about the problem, 

3. how it affects your productivity and motivation, and

4. a win-win solution (both sides of the conflict get something from your solution)

 

For example, a school teacher was refused compensation for the time he spent developing new courses. He told his principal "Ever since I realised I wouldn't receive money for my course-development work, my enthusiasm for teaching has deteriorated. I think my students have gained tremendously from my special classes. They are now suffering as a result of my loss of motivation. It's important to me, and the school, to continue creating new classes and to be compensated in some way. Since the money isn't available, I would be satisfied if I could take one class period each day for a semester to develop my new class". 

 

The principal's response was "I can't spare you a period every day, but I would agree to three hours a week". 

 

This example demonstrates how approaching a situation using the step-by-step format above can make be used to make a clear and persuasive argument, and be used effectively in reducing both personal stress and interpersonal conflict. Try to use these steps to approach any work-related conflicts or disputes you may encounter over the next few weeks.

 

The final Exercise in this programme will focus on pacing and balancing yourself. See you there!